“The expectations of new mums are ruined by falseness” – said one of my interviewees. And I couldn’t agree more.
From the day I found out I was pregnant (5 weeks, I’ll never forget) I was researching everything pregnancy and baby. I bought books, browsed websites, checked online forums. I read what I could find. I went to all the antenatal classes.
I knew all about pregnancy and birth – but when I finally held my baby in my arms, I couldn’t help feeling that something was missing.
No one told me what was going to happen to me.
How do I do this? How do I suddenly become a mum? How will my life be from now on? The fear was overwhelming.
As I went through those first days and weeks, I was surprised by how much I didn’t know what motherhood would be like – in spite of doing all that research. I felt disappointed, I felt let down: why didn’t anyone tell me what was going to happen?
The good thing is, I like research; and when I don’t know something I ask questions and look for answers. Which is exactly what I did. I started asking fellow mothers: did they also feel the same way? Or was it just me?
First I thought it was just me and I put it down to the fact that my circumstances were far from ideal. I lived in a foreign country, I had no family around, both the father and I were at university, money was an issue – and things were tough. But as I was talking to other mums I quickly realised that it definitely wasn’t just me. They all found it difficult.
They all found that they knew everything about pregnancy and birth, but becoming a mother, being a mother was about something else. They all found that the picture they had in their mind about motherhood is completely different from the reality. Many of them said they were in shock.
Being a new mum is not all rosy and smiley – far from it. It’s a massive upheaval and the struggle is real. So many mums said to me “I wish someone had told me that…” – and that’s what gave me the idea for this book.
Told from the perspectives of mums and professionals, “Honest Talk for New Mothers” presents the reality of early motherhood. The love and joy, but also the unpleasant things: the fear, the tears, the world turning upside down, the changes, and how to prepare for them. Because these things matter.
I want women to feel empowered and prepared for the reality, so it doesn’t come as a shock. Because quite frankly, it shouldn’t come as a shock, right? We should know what to expect.
We have to talk openly and honestly about the challenges of motherhood, because a lot of women suffer. The rates of postnatal depression are soaring, and sadly there are also a lot of mothers who suffer in silence. And when the mother’s wellbeing suffers, that’s not good for the baby, either. So my aim is to change that – and I invite you to help me with it.
Help me spread the word, share this post with your friends, and follow the link below to get your own copy.
The book is currently available on Amazon and it features some beautiful artwork by artist Roz Down (you can find her at Roz’s Art House)
Grab your copy here and enjoy!